finally hit and surpassed my first goal weight of 160 lbs! yes!

    158 lbs! 



    i feel so good right now

    you don’t even know. so far today i’ve done perfectly diet-wise. i just finished shoulders and arms p90x and ab ripper x, both of which i kept up with and i wasn’t able to keep up with ab ripper x last time i did it. i’ve gained noticeable flexibility, i lost weight… today is a perfect day. NOTHING can ruin this day. 



    i lost 3 pounds in less than a week

    and before that, five pounds. at this rate i’ll be at my goal weight by halloween.



    my brother is a swine.

    my father and i are going to go on a diet together. it’s really difficult to eat right in my house alone simply because i live in a house of guys (i have 3 brothers and their friends and my friends) who eat a bunch of junk food. but he promised me he’d diet with me so it’s encouraging to know that someone’s right there with me.

    a little background info: my older brother just moved out 8 months ago to a far away city. he was a huge reason why i was depressed and still am depressed. even though he moved out 8 months ago, i haven’t spoken to him in 9 or 10 months. he’s in town for two weeks because his best friend is getting married. 

    so the other day, i was telling my dad how i needed to go grocery shopping with him so we could pick out foods for this diet. my brother hasn’t spoken to me the whole time he’s been here except to bash me about how i’ll never get anywhere in life and how much of a failure i am and how i treat him like shit and that he has five sisters or some shit and he can “erase me from his life”. but he decides to comment.

    “OR, you can eat whatever the hell you want and just exercise.”

    i respond with, “OR, you can do both, like i’m doing.”

    so he asks, “why do you want to go on a diet?”

    i decide to choose my words carefully, because if i call myself fat in front of him, well, i wasn’t sure what type of reaction i’d get. so i said, “i’m tired of being big.”

    “you’re 5’8.”

    “i’m not talking about height.”

    “you’ll always be big.”

    i’ll always be big?

    i’ll always be big.

    i’ll always be big.



    for the past week i’ve been all 

    ‘cause i start my super complex diet tomorrow.

    so for the next week i’ll be all

    ‘cause i won’t be able to eat cheeseburgers.





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